We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
vagina is talking i cant
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
