I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize