I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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