i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
