im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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