What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
