Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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