If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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