He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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