I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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