his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
