i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
