Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
