i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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