fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
