He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
