i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
