I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
