These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I am available for nakedness
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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