I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
