I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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