and you said cock pushups were impossible
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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