You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just had sex bonerless
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
