Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
