So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
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Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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