Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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