i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
