i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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