thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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