it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
tell me about the fingering
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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