I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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