it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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