I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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