Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
