dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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