tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
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