Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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