..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize