i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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