idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
