Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
