She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
