You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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