All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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