I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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