In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
