I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i dont even know how to be here
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
