ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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