it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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