I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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