So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Randomize
