His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
