To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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