My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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