i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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