just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
